In Vicki Ableson's second 30 Day Writing Challenge, we are supposed to write about what scares us. This is going to be an interesting 30 days. Dr. Kay is back on speed-dial.
Day 3 of Vicki's WC2...
I'm definitely my mother's daughter... it's a little spooky sometimes, how much of her is in me. She taught me so many things, she gave me so much... her courage and strength... strong sense of duty to the family of man... empathy, compassion... respect for self and others... so much....
Yes, I'm my mother's daughter. I take a tremendous amount of pride in that. It also scares me.
My mother died of breast cancer and while that doesn't mean I will, it does tip the scales the wrong way. I've already had one scare.
It's one of the things I, like far too many other women, carry. We can't put it down or set it aside like a handbag that has fallen out of fashion.
We pray for wisdom and we pray for strength.... that the other things we carry will keep us and guide us... and that love, not fear, will rule our lives.
Not everything we carry is a burden... such as hope.
"Hope is like the sun, which as we journey towards it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us." ~ Samuel Smiles
Day 4 of Vicki's WC2 -
Still on that "What scares you" thing, are we? Hmmm...
When I was little girl... about 4, I think... there was big storm and wind one night. A big coffee tree grew outside my bedroom and the wind pushed the branches against my window, making scratching sounds. It scared me... I thought something was trying to get in. Papa came to my room and calmed me. He showed me what was making the noise... his voice, strong yet gentle, so reassuring... and we stood at the window, watching the wind and limbs moving. And, I wasn't scared anymore.
After that, whenever I would hear that sound, I knew what it was... it no longer scared me. Although, later when my best friend Talia and I started having sleep-overs, we would 'fire up' our imaginations and try to 'scare' each other. Haha!
It's not always the 'unknown' that scares us... and it's not always the 'known'... I think it has more to do with context and how past experiences have coloured our lives...
My heart still gives a little lurch whenever I see a black Jeep and for just a few seconds... a little touch of fear... until I can see the driver's face and see that it isn't him.
I know it isn't him... I watched him die. I know my fear is irrational... fear often is.
It's also what keeps us alive.
Veronica Marie Lewis-Shaw
12 April 2013
(Writing under a large mushroom, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest)