In Vicki Ableson's second 30 Day Writing Challenge, we are supposed to write about what scares us. This is going to be an interesting 30 days. Dr. Kay is back on speed-dial.
~*~
Day 5 of Vicki's WC2...
There are three kinds of secrets.
The kind you tell no one... the kind you tell only your
closest friend... and the ones that you don't even know yourself that you
carry.
While working on my memoir recently, I had a revelation...
breakthrough... epiphany, whatever you want to call it. That revelation didn't scare me so much - I
think deep down inside, beyond where even my demons could dredge it up, I was
aware of it, even if it was just an indistinct shadow on my consciousness - as
did the realization that there might be more.
There might be, in all likelihood were, other secrets... hiding deep
inside the recesses of my mind. Little
bombs, tucked away, waiting to go off... waiting for that 'trigger' to be pushed.
Secrets I don't even know I have.
When Tina and I first met, I told her everything...
everything I knew... everything that had happened... everything that I
remembered. I held nothing back. She got me warts and all... a 'battle-scarred' mind and body that was a 'minefield’ which took months to navigate
around; to find safe places to touch.
But we both knew that there were holes in my memory... dark
spaces that had refused to give up their secrets. The revelation I recently had, and one like
it several months ago, are those holes finally giving up their secrets.
Are there more?
When
you look out in your backyard and see a single mole hole, chances are better
than good that there is more than one mole, right?
We all have secrets that we are aware of. The emotions attached to those secrets are no
surprise. But what about the secrets we
aren't yet aware we are carrying?
Should we be afraid of those?
Should those scare us?
If not, then why do they remain hidden from even ourselves?
Veronica Marie Lewis-Shaw
14 April 2013
(Writing under a large mushroom, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest)
~*~
Veronica Marie Lewis-Shaw
14 April 2013
(Writing under a large mushroom, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest)
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